Whom I Have Blocked Out

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Asked Have you ever asked….. ridden a horse before….. / Said He’s real gentle….. and lifted me up

I trusted what men said was gentle to hurt….. and I knew I couldn’t say / No

to what men said was gentle and lifted me up

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Onto the horse no….. saddle he Without a saddle seemed….. naked the horse seemed more

Naked than I could make myself naked but not….. / As naked as I could be made to be….. / Lifted

me up from the day / At the farm Into the memory already forming

* …. * …. *

Me crouched low trembling clinging to the mane The mane….. alive but not as part / Of the body of the horse alive

As part of the wind a fire at the end of the wind Me burning in it six….. years old by six

I have / Already been….. / A sickness in the hearts of men By six I’ve been the sieve through

* …. * …. *

Which they expel their sickness said / You ever

ridden said the man….. who must have been the father of the friend / From school who had invited me to the farm

And this is how I have forgiven him….. / I have remembered only the beginning of the ride

* …. * …. *

Then nothing then the bath….. in the trough in the field Far from the house in the brown water stripping in / The field

your body is a gift you have to live through Remember me my suffering to me

To whom….. have I been suffering To whom will I be healed